Showing posts with label end of the summer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label end of the summer. Show all posts

Monday, 6 September 2010

How can a week be so sad when there is so much to be happy about?

I know life is full of contrasts, but sometimes they seem so mixed up with each other I don't know whether to laugh or cry. So end up doing neither, which weighs heavily on me.

Sadness.
Farewell to dear friends, leaving our tiny town for a distant continent.
Happiness.
Thankful that we know them. A dream of visiting one day. Anticipation of long chats on skype.

Sadness.
Remembrance of our dog, now several months deceased, his absence still a pain in our hearts.
Happiness
as we watch the rabbits playing around his grave.

Sadness
Leave-taking of beloved 'children'. Those two special adults who live with us in our house during high days and holidays.
Happiness
That they have listened to God's call on their lives, seeking to live out Isaiah 61:
the Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, 
because the LORD has anointed me 
to preach good news to the poor. 
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, 
to proclaim freedom for the captives 
and release from darkness for the prisoners, 
to proclaim the year of the LORD's favour... 


Sadness
that the summer is going as we return to school
Happiness
thankful that the weather has been wonderfully warm and sunny and that I am returning to a job I love.

Sadness and happiness. Intertwined, indistinguishable. 

Tuesday, 31 August 2010

Holidays

Holidays are interesting. As a teacher, I have LOTS of them.  I only work 9 - 3.30 and then have a total of 16 weeks paid holiday every year. 

Huh. That's not precisely true. I actually work from 8 - 5 in school, then some when I get home. Often at weekends, too. My lunch 'hour' (50 minutes) is usually half filled with duties or extra-curricular clubs.

But I DO have 16 weeks when I'm not in school. The other 36 are so intense that I literally spin on the spot at times, like some robotic automaton in a factory on top speed. I amaze myself with the amount of work I achieve. Often, sleep suffers. 16 weeks is only just enough catch up time...

So holidays are breaks from work. They are 'catch-up' time.
Catch-up on school work - planning, preparation, research.
Catch-up on home work.tidying, cleaning, sorting.
Catch-up on friendships: time for coffee, meals, barbecues on the beach.
Catch-up on life.

But holidays are also full of change. 
Change of scenery,as we go away.  This year was a riotous week on a boat in France. We ambled slowly down a beautiful river, drinking in the beautiful views, swimming in clear, warm water, visiting impossibly picturesque villages, enjoying the quiet of sleepy streets on sunny afternoons, laughing as we jumped, dived or swung off ropes into the water. Praising God for music and beauty and friends.

Change of atmosphere at home. Two grown 'children' who go diligently to boring jobs throughout hot summer days so that they can save up enough money to support themselves in full-time Christian work. I am learning how to be a mother all over again. It seems just as difficult this time round: mothering, nurturing, supporting...adults.

Visitors, too.  Family staying, almost three generations as my nephews are aged only 2 and 6, young enough to be my grandchildren. In theory. The change in the house seemed radical: far from expanding to accommodate 4 more people and many toys, the very building seemed to shrink on itself. Once they had left, the house relaxed with a sigh, stretching weary walls towards the garden.

And parties. Two LARGE ones. Washing up and clearing up took only a day, but it seemed like a year.

And I changed. I changed from being a dedicated, focused, intensely hard-working career teacher who can't often be bothered with cooking and cleaning, to a nurturing home maker who looked for opportunities to bake and cook and share and welcome.

That was a GOOD change. I needed this holiday.

Tuesday, 15 September 2009

Autumn

Blissful days of endless summer.
Every sunrise is a benison, as warmth spreads across still fields, wisp clad.
A calm sea is a surprise.

Then comes a rising wind
bringing a wash of rain in hurrying footsteps.
Autumn stomps in, bad-tempered.

Friday, 11 September 2009

End of the summer

I've written a post with this title before. Can't remember when, why or where.

After the amazingly good weather at the weekend and earlier in the week, we are now into the beginning of autumn. Wind, cooler temperatures, more cloud.

The weather cements a reality into me.

I feel I have to accept that I HAVE started back at school, that I DO have to get on with teaching, and that Jonny and Cat ARE returning to university tomorrow. The weather tells me that these things are true and I cannot deny them any longer.

The weather brings this sadness.