Saturday 28 March 2009

8 point update

I just had to put this on the blog. Hilarious - really brightened my day, for all sorts of reasons.

heyllo parental

Just thought I would update you on everything that is happening in my life.

1. I have 4,500 words to write in 5 days.
2. I want to work with nomads when I'm older.
3. Nicola went bin-raiding yesterday and brought home lots of sandwiches, one of which I will have for lunch.
4. I am dressing up as "Rocky" from the film "Rocky" and playing frisbee this weekend at the Aye-Aye (UEA frisbee team) fun tournament.
5. I accidentally (it really wasn't my fault!) became women's captain for frisbee next year.
6. I need to talk to you about flights etc - not sure whether to come home on saturday 4th or sunday 5th - depending on numbers?
7. Things with South Africa are proceeding, I have taken on board your security comments and am setting up a meeting to talk this through with the course convenor and I will be seeing John Mcdonagh (my dissertation supervisor) next week to talk about my dissertation so I will also run your queries by him. Also, I will be talking to Liesl tomorrow over Skype (hopefully it will work!) to talk some other things through so I will try and get an idea from her about how things stand.
8. Partners Group agreed to take me back for 2 weeks over easter - AND they gave me a pay rise! oh yeah! I will also be working in Hedge funds and Legals - not P&D! Woo hoo! ( I hope this bit of good news means you forget the other bad news about womens captain...?!)

I trust you enjoyed this concise and succinct report.

Yours sincerely,
Catharine Pollard.
(Daughter)

Thursday 26 March 2009

The Parable of the Talents

My class are preparing to hold a school assembly next week. We’re sharing what they have learnt about the parable of the talents. Part of it is a drama. Rehearsals aren’t going too well.

“And it came about,” pronounced Don, the narrator, “that a certain rich master was going on a journey. He called his servants and gave them money to look after. To one he gave 5 gold coins, to another 2, and to a third 1 gold coin. Then he left them.”
Jono, the master, shuffled along the line, shoving chocolate money into the eager hands of three of his classmates. “Here ya are,” he said casually. “OK then. See ya!” With a wiggle of the hips, he started to mince off stage, flapping his hand limply with more ‘bye bye’s as he went.
“Not like that!” yelled Don. “You’re supposed to be the MASTER. You’re s’posed to be… to be… well, not like that. You can’t just say ‘bye bye’. You’re the MASTER.”
Meanwhile, the three servants were testing the coins in the time honoured way to see if they were real gold. Biting them. At least they weren’t removing the foil wrapping.
“OK,” agreed Jono, mincing back to his original place, “I’ll do it again.”
Don rolled his eyes.
“I think,” said Steve, who had been standing to one side with a thoughtful frown on his face, “I think we servants should come up to the Master. He should call us.”
“Good idea.”
Jono marched over to the servants, snatching the coins out of their hands before wiping them fastidiously on his sleeve.
And it came about,” pronounced Don, slightly wearily this time, “that a certain rich master was going on a journey. He called his servants and gave them money to look after. To one he gave 5 gold coins… to one he gave 5 gold coins… TO ONE HE GAVE 5 GOLD COINS…”
“Oh, is it me?” asked Phil, as Steve gave a shove in the back to push him forward on stage. “Oh, OK then.” He shuffled forward in his best Uriah Heep fashion, rubbing his hands together and grinning in anticipation. "Thank you, thank you," he said, bowing so low his head almost hit Jono's knees.
"Oy, watch out!" yelled Jono, moving back nimbly. He dropped the other coins in his hand. Petey, the third servant, dived to the floor, grabbing every coin he could.
"Give those 'ere," snarled Jono, prising Petey's fists open and levering the coins out of his hands.
"Come on, come, on, get on with it," growled Don. "To one he gave TWO gold coins. TWO, not three. You're not supposed to give him ALL of them."
Jono scowled, snatching a coin back from Steve.
"OK I know this bit. Come here, servant, I'm giving you a coin. Make sure you look after it and don't lose it. I'll be back in a week - or a month - or maybe next year."
"You're not supposed to say that!" screamed Don, his face an alarming shade of pink, "that's MY bit. You just give him the coin."
"Why can't I say it?" asked Jono. "I wouldn't really just give him a coin without saying anythin', would I? I'm the Master an' all. Anyway, why do YOU get to say everything?"
"Yeah," chimed in Steve and Petey, "we want to say more stuff too. Why should we just stand there and not have anything to say?"
"Oh, OK," sighed Don. "Say what you like. I don't care." He stomped back to his chair and plonked himself down, folding his arms and scowling.
Steve took his coins, strolling off as Petey approached the master. Head down, one leg out at an awkward angle, Petey dragged his foot behind him, shoulders hunched and his body lurching almost drunkenly. He sniffed, then stuck out his hand, lower lip stuck truculently out.
It was too much for Don. Leaping to his feet, he yelled, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?"
Petey took it literally. "I'm a servant an' I'm poor," he said.
"Just because you're a servant doesn't mean that you have to walk like that," shouted Don in exasperation. "Just act normal!"
Normal? Petey, Steve, Phil and Jono exchanged glances. Normal? Of course they were acting normal. Couldn't he tell?

Monday 23 March 2009

Catch up

Thought I’d just catch up on myself for a while. Since starting my Lent thoughts, there hasn’t been much time for jotting down on the blog. Neither does it seem very important, actually. So, looking back, I seem to start thoughts – but not finish.

Take the school inspection. It was a LOT of work to get ready for it. And I mean a lot. The week before, I stayed at school until gone 7 for two of the evenings – only leaving because I had another meeting to go to. It wasn’t HARD work, just time-consuming as we tidied up in all areas: making sure the classrooms were as neat and tidy as possibly, tidying up the children’s work, tidying up our planning and paperwork, tidying our desks, tidying our minds. I guess I was tidied out by the time the inspectors arrived, and the time they were here wasn’t at all stressful. Just busy and a little tense. It was a gift every time I taught an unobserved lesson – and the children benefited. My teaching is twice as good when there is no one looking – or, I should say, only half good enough when someone is. And, in the end, I was only observed three or four times in two days, so not bad really.

So that was that.

Another major excitement was the tadpoles. Joseph brought in some quite mature tadpoles in an ice cream box, the same day I tried again with another batch of frogspawn. I’ve managed to put the photos onto a powerpoint presentation and run it every morning for the children to see their progress. Plus, of course, the little crowd that peers in at the little wrigglers several times a day.

Then there are the willow shoots in a vase, sending out roots under water.

It’s all quite fascinating. “Mrs P, why have you got tadpoles on your desk?” asked one child. “And why have you got twigs?”
“For fun,” I replied.
“For fun?” was the puzzled answer. “Just for fun?”
“Of course. The fun of watching things grow. Just watch how these roots are going!”

But the main excitement has been the multiplying of the talents. I’ve talked about it over at Words From God For Today, where I’ve given all the boys in the year £1 each, to keep safe or to multiply for The Tumaini Fund (supporting AIDS widows and orphans in Tanzania). I have never seen children so enthusiastic or excited about what they are doing, nor so confident in explaining to others. Every break time sees a room full of excited children, looking at the cakes and crafts for sale, negotiating, spending their money.

One of the boys keeps forgetting to bring his money. One day, his friend bought him a cake. Sharing. Kindness. Helpfulness.

It makes it all so worthwhile. I love my job.

Sunday 15 March 2009

Tadpoles

Oh dear. Tadpoles are no more. Several of them hatched out at school, but then the tank started to get mucky. And scummy. And stinky.

I called in school wildlife expert Joseph, aged 9. 'They need pond weed,' he pronounced, a slight frown on his face as he stared at the tank. 'I'll bring some tomorrow.' He did. Things didn't improve.

I called him in again. 'Two thirds of the water needs changing,' he asserted, the frown now deeper. He and a friend duly did this, using water from the school pond. Then we noticed the leech.

It wasn't until I had successfully trapped the leech, releasing it back into the pond, that I realised how truly smelly the water was. I had to wash my hands several times with soap to get rid of the smell.

So we emptied the contents of the tank back into the pond. The leech was happy.

No more tadpoles.

However, I did notice more frogspawn in our pond at home...

Wednesday 11 March 2009

Stress - what stress?

I haven't been at all stressed by our school inspection - well, not much. I felt quite calm, not realising how stressed I actually was until I couldn't get my car started on Monday morning.

I sat there, seat belt on, unable to move the vehicle an inch.

Nearly late for school.

Thinking hard, I unclipped my seat belt, got out, went back into the house... and collected the car keys.

No problem after that!

Wednesday 4 March 2009

Just a little thought...

Just a little post - most of my writing is on Words from God for today, a blog I started for Lent on the back of some daily reflections which friends are allowing me to email to them. (That way, I'm accountable to them: I can't let a day slip by without doing SOMETHING!).

Anyway, this little post is to talk about my tadpoles. Hundreds of them, hopefully. They're all at frogspawn stage at the moment, sitting in a glass tank on my desk at school.

Fascinating.

Every morning a small crowd of boys gathers round to examine their progress. We saw one hatch yesterday - a tadpole, I mean, not a boy. It wriggled around until he popped out of his sack of jelly. I guess it was a he?

I can't keep my eyes off the little creatures. I keep peering into the tank, searching out the 'wrigglers'.

The boys think the frogspawn is cute - but not that cute. They also think I'm mad. (Yes, it's true, I've heard the whispers as they watch me gazing at the lumps of wet jelly.)

Never mind.