5 days into this saga, and the doctor still won't take a look until at least a week has passed and the swelling has gone down. The trouble is, not having experienced this before - I didn't play rugby as a young girl - I'm not sure what to expect. Particularly if, when he 'tweaks' it back into place - just like that - the bruising will start all over again.
It's embarrassing enough as it is. I endured a barrage of laughter and mockery at church last night - the word 'silly' cropped up rather too frequently for my liking.
Until one lovely girl said, 'Well, at least it makes a good story!'
I'm in my fifties - not that I feel like that, obviously - and broke it surfing. A wave tipped me off my surfboard and the board floated away. The next wave came crashing in on the heels of the first, so the surfboard came barrelling back in.
I tried to grab it, and missed. It caught me squarely on the nose. Instant break, lots of blood, quick trip to Accident and Emergency, avoiding the smirks of the medical staff on the way.
Now I look like a sunburnt spectacled bear.