Now is the winter of our illnesses

There have been so many sick bugs floating around this winter. In my class alone boys have been away ill with Headaches, Winter Vomiting Disease, Bronchitis, Asthma and The Common Cold.

Now I have identified two new and potentially education-threatening diseases.

Giggleitis: uncontrolled and continuous giggling, resulting in physical collapse - usually onto a desk or chair. It can be cured only by the threat of large doses of undesirable consequences. Such as losing one's diablo toy for a few minutes, or being given extra homework.

And CBA Syndrome. This affects children by causing lethargy, boredom, disinterest and unwillingness to learn. Also known as CBB (Can't Be Bothered) Syndrome.

Both illnesses are highly contagious and potentially education threatening. Eradication is near impossible. Health warnings have now been put in place.