Friday 10 February 2023

November, Christmas, packing, February, baby, family....Catching up!!

It’s been a while since recording monthly/periodical life updates. Due mainly to computer glitches, but also inertia and busyness….

So 2022, after a summer Travelling With Pickle, ended in preparations for a whole family Christmas visit. In between my regular day and a half of R.E. teaching, this academic year only from Year 2 to Year 5 – quite a welcome change – and some supply teaching in a local school just ten minutes’ cycle away, I sourced clothing and equipment for the small people who would be coming to visit.

A neighbour put a child’s plastic table and chair outside their house, for the taking; I picked up a car seat and children’s cycle helmets for free on the OLIO recycling app  and bought a tricycle from a Facebook group; borrowed travel cots, more car seats, boxes of toys and Duplo and even children’s crockery and table ware from kind friends; and visited a charity shop (GO – giving opportunities for young people into work – selling all kinds of things from toys to toilets, books to bathtubs, fashion to furnitures…) for a bicycle and other useful items.

It involved quite a lot of trawling through buy and sell groups on Facebook and visiting local charity shops, but eventually I felt we were well-enough prepared.

The six weeks that the New Zealand contingent visited, from the end of November until early January, were full on, with all kinds of activities organised for very active children. Sadly, the weather meant that there were not many days where an extended play time on the beach was possible, but the library was wonderful, the swimming pool always a popular option and a couple of visits from Cat’s best and closest school friends provided entertainment as well.

In the middle, a week or so before Christmas, the Tanzanian family arrived, Finn meeting his girl cousins for the first time. We celebrated three birthdays within four weeks: first, Cara’s 4 years, with a pink palace cake, liberally decorated with sprinkles; then Finn’s 1st, with a blue theme, balloons and a sheep cake in honour of his favourite toy; and Rosie celebrated turning 2 with a teddy bear, made from a mould sourced in our favourite charity shop, or ‘op shop’, as it is known in New Zealand.

Then add Christmas into the mix… stockings with a selection of all kinds of interesting gifts. Rosie in particular loved opening presents, regardless of who they belonged to. The joys of a 2 year old. During the weeks they were all here we delighted in the progress they made: Finn beginning to walk (although it was at least a month after they returned home that he really began to branch out, although a wooden toy tricycle was invaluable as a balancing aid); Rosie’s language developed exponentially as she began to string words together into intelligible phrases, no mean feat for her age; and Cara’s creativity in everything she approached, whether solving a puzzle or negotiating a particular need or desire with her parents.

All too soon, their visit was over and the house was empty. We consoled ourselves with a concerted attack on housework and putting the house to rights again, giving away toys and children’s furniture and returning the borrowed items… the potty and child step stool  from Sarah had been particular godsends: not sure how we would have managed without them… January and February also saw us intentionally catch up with friends, inviting many round for meals.

I also found myself teaching at another nearby school, all with delightful – and alarmingly young (!) – teachers. It’s not a long-term profession any more… the tales from the UK in particular are of extreme stress and pressure caused by Ofsted resulting in mental breakdown or even, in one horrific case, in suicide of a headteacher because of a poor (and seemingly unjustified) Ofsted result.

The supply experience, though, has been great, and I particularly like the children in my ‘new’ school. I have even found myself enjoying Reception… helped no doubt by my experience with Cara, a year younger. It’s very convenient, too: there is usually time to pop home at lunchtime to see Richard, even when on my bicycle.

All too soon, half term arrived and with it our departure for New Zealand. We had decided, back in November even before Cat and family arrived, that we would try to go to visit them to help with the new baby, expected February 22nd. Miraculously, as soon as I asked my head, he gave his consent for me to take unpaid leave for the second half of the term. (His last words to me, when we had a conversation about my renewing my contract back in June 2022, had been that he ‘didn’t want someone who would disappear off to New Zealand for 6 weeks’…!)

It had been quite hectic leaving all the lessons planned for and prepared in advance. It is always more time-consuming to leave detailed plans for others to deliver than to actually do the work oneself, especially as I had no idea who would be teaching my lessons.

It had all been an interesting process. Covid – and lockdown, staying in place for a couple of years – had left a legacy of finding it hard to contemplate travel. We had, of course, gone off in the motorhome but in many ways it felt like staying ‘at home’. Air travel, on the other hand, seemed like quite a big step. Even the logistics of getting from Gatwick to Heathrow and then to our hotel overnight seemed tricky. Still, we managed to get the coach booked in advance at good times to allow for delays (although there were none) and managed to negotiate our way through the vagaries of the buses of the London Transport System to get to the Radisson hotel at Terminal 3. It was all well worth it – the hotel was very comfortable and had a swimming pool, which we took advantage of both in the evening and early morning before we left for our flight.

Once at the airport, all seemed familiar again. Virgin Atlantic to San Francisco kept us very well-fed (I lost count of how many meals they served us and even the gluten-free options were good) and entertained; the transfer was incredibly easy and hassle-free, with no queues at passport control and a delightfully friendly official; and then easy baggage check-in and comfortable armchairs to wait in with a view over the airport apron to the surrounding hills. After that, Air New Zealand was as wonderful as we remembered and we felt surprisingly ‘untired’ when we finally arrived in Auckland to be met by Andy’s brother John: Daughter No. 3 had arrived, just as Daughters Nos 1 and 2 had, a day early, 12 hours before we touched down. Elsie Joy, 3.6kg.

We were delighted to be there and be of help. The weeks passed in a blur of entertaining pre-schoolers, holding the baby and keeping up with a constant stream of washing up, cooking, laundry and cleaning.

Entertainment included roughie time on the trampoline with Yaya and, occasionally, Moomoo (no idea where Cara came up with that name as she was learning to talk, but it has stuck). I learnt to recognise the early warning signs which were precursor to Rosie launching herself, with some violence, at me – and adorning Moomoo with pegs. The girls were crafty: they stripped off all their clothes so they couldn’t be ‘pegged’  back. Most games went well, with only a few tears… #result.

We – I and the girls – spent a lot of time on the trampoline which Rosie, in particular, absolutely adores. She was incredibly entertaining with it, ordering me around with great enjoyment: “I go out now. You stay,” with a backwards glance as she marched off into the house to ensure that I had followed instructions with a further “Don’t get out.” It has been an absolute delight to see her language developing in leaps and bounds over the last couple of months.

Particularly memorable words have been the ‘Hello’ series, developed on a car journey home one day. “Hello cars!” extended to the favourite “Hello cucumber” which became her ‘go to’ phrase. Jumping on the trampoline together one day, my hair flying up as I bounced, inspired her to yell “Hello Yaya’s hair!”. Constantly inventive, she used words with glee as soon as she learned them – Andy’s phrase of ‘Hoolibah’ was instantly adopted.

Cat leads the local Playcentre, a venue with an enormous range of creative activities which all the parents involved take turns in leading, and this is evident in the house. The list of ‘what to do when I feel bored’ is impressively long, including ‘cups of tea and a chat’ and ‘drawing with chalk’ – the house has a wonderful paved strip just behind it which houses the Dow girls’ mud kitchen, a sandpit, numerous bikes and scooters and a playhouse. Add to this the ‘garden room’ – a covered deck enclosed with PFV rollblinds, furnished with comfortable couches and a coffee table and liberally adorned with hanging pot plants and ferns growing up the ‘walls’.

Rosie enjoyed helping with dinner, as did Cara, and was particularly adept at peeling garlic. Peeling stickers or drawing was another favourite pastime – we loved hearing Rosie talking to herself about what she was drawing (which was, of course, unrecognisable!), friends often featuring in the chat. She is a delightfully inclusive little girl but is also very independent, enjoying playing on her own. Cara, by contrast, gains all her energy from interacting with others and is at her happiest when engaged in anything social.

And, of course, it was a delight to see Elsie gain weight and fill out at an astonishing rate – in the first four weeks (and the first week, when babies usually lose a little weight and then regain back to their birth weight) she gained nearly 40% of her body weight – approximately 13% a week! By six weeks her weight gain was DOUBLE the norm. She is a relatively calm baby: demanding, of course, as all babies are and easily bored – she rarely likes to lie awake in one place for very long.

A couple of weeks around the six week mark saw her develop fretful spells in the afternoon. We found, quite haphazardly, that George Ezra’s song ‘Shotgun’ had an instant and magical effect in calming her. As soon as he started singing (the first few bars of the intro didn’t always cut it) she quietened down, body relaxing. The effect gave some blessed respite and lasted quite a few days, before she tired of him.

It wasn’t all cooking, cleaning and washing, though. Most days we were able to venture out on a cycle ride or to go swimming – the local pool is free, and a ten minute cycle ride away. We walked up and across Mangere Mountain, just by the house (the address ‘Mountain Road’ is a significant clue…).

Cat arranged various visits for us: a kind friend insisted on lending us her car for a week while she was away, which enabled us to visit Duder Regional Park (one of Auckland’s many), enjoying a good walk and amazing views.

Cat got us tickets for Ayrslie Gardens, a private garden somewhat like the Lost Gardens of Heligon with a variety of unusual plants created by one family over decades; and a visit to Tiritirimatangi Island. We also managed a visit to stay with Sue and Allan, Andy’s parents, at their home in Houhoura in the Far North, driving up with them and flying back down to Auckland.

And, of course, outings with the family. A trip to their favourite beach in east of Auckland, at Maraetai, where Cat and Andy’s sister Bex have done triathlons. We swam in a calm sea, warmer than back home in Guernsey although still a little chilly at first.

Visits to the café and library in Mangere Bridge centre, both such popular and frequent venues that the staff at the café know Cat’s usual coffee order. And of course a dive into the ‘op chop’ (local Vincent de Paul charity shop, with very friendly volunteers who seemed quite happy that Rosie was rearranging the doll and toy corner to her satisfaction, trying out the newborn baby clothes on selected recipients. A visit to an op shop was not, of course, an isolated occasion: I returned there and also cycled across the harbour to nearby Onehunga, sampling the shops there – one of which had beautifully artistic displays. I even found a lovely soft wrap in the Red Cross shop. It is a poncho made of merino silk: a mixture of merino lambswool, possum fur and silk. It folds up into a remarkably small package.

A trip to historic Devonport across the harbour, involving a train ride, a bus journey and a (very short, just minutes) ferry trip. Coffee and ice cream were, naturally, features of the trip along with a visit to the library and an impressive playground with a tall ‘lighthouse’ in the middle.

Cat also bought us ferry tickets to Tiritiri Matangi, an island sanctuary an hour from Auckland city centre. The island had, like Duder Regional Park, been cleared for sheep farming in the 1800s but in the 1970s, after the lease was withdrawn, it was designated a reserve and left, initially, to regenerate. An active program of pest eradication (the kiore/pacific rat) and dedicated seed-sowing and replanting of 280,000 trees and shrubs over a ten year period saw the island returned to its original state, with many native species of fauna returning and flourishing.

Cat had, with great forethought, booked us a guided tour. This lasted for more than a couple of hours and was absolutely invaluable. The guide was very knowledgeable about both the island and wider ecological and environmental issues: we would not have gained nearly as much from our visit had we just wandered around on our own.

And, somewhat bizarrely, the guide knew Guernsey well, having lived on Alderney for ten years prior to emigrating to New Zealand.  

And of course several visits to nearby Ambury Farm in Ambury Park on the edge of Manakau harbour and, again, just a few minutes’ cycle ride away from the house, with  several bird sanctuaries. A favourite ride was along Kiwi Esplanade from Mangere Bridge (where there is a new road bridge and a wonderful cycle bridge created in the location of the original), where thousands of South Island Pied Oystercatchers congregate on their migration north. Cat and Andy kindly took us here for our first New Zealand fish and chips supper – the chips so much more delicious than the usually fat, under-cooked and greasy chips beloved in the UK.

They also took us to several of their favourite eateries. Ruby Red, the café in Mangere Bridge shopping centre was such a favourite that the owner knows Cat’s usual coffee order. It sits in a row of cafés set back from the road, enabling tables to spread across the pavement. There is a lovely vibe there which makes the centre feel like a village. The centre has everything: a hardware store, where we bought sandpaper to finish off a painting job back at the house; a pharmacy; supermarket; doctor; hairdresser, and various fast food outlets. Evangelists have set up their ‘shop’ outside, with a sound system playing several well-known songs and choruses, our favourite being the first, ‘Forever Grateful’, which we sang so often at Nairobi Chapel and still have a recording of at home. Hearing the song – sounding identical – literally stopped me in my tracks as I cycled past.s’s

One morning, Bex took Cara and Rosie out for breakfast, so Cat and Andy took us to a favourite café, ‘Percy’s, out near the airport, in a tall modern building. Good to have time together just the four of us.

Then there was Hallertau, a restaurant in Clevedon out towards the east coast, which the girls loved: plenty of things to entertain children in an outside courtyard. Fortunately, the sun was out as the wind was quite chilly at the time. One particular bonus of our visit to add to the joy of being with family was the weather: some days of rain, but still warm and generally better than a summer’s day in Guernsey. #NewZealandautumn! 

After four weeks or so, Sue and Allan, Andy’s parents, drove down to Auckland for a church conference and so we drove back up to Pukenui in the Far North with them. They had extended a warm invitation for us to visit them several times, but we had been put off by the length of the journey. Usually this would take a minimum of 5 and a half hours drive, but recently a lot longer, as there had been damage to the roads caused by Cyclone Gabrielle a few weeks previously. In the end, we made the trip in just 6 hours as several of the diversions had been removed, although there was a very slow section with several sets of traffic lights where the road was still being repaired after portions had deteriorated or vanished in the cyclone and also the rain deluges just prior to that. We all met up at Cornwall Park (which Richard and I had cycled up to the day before, coincidentally, retracing a walk we did from One Tree Hill down to the café there on a previous visit.) for a picnic lunch with Bex and boyfriend Abe and his son Boaz before setting off.

The journey went more quickly than expected. I always love to see the forests, particularly the distinctive Norfolk pines and the indigenous trees, especially the tree ferns. We saw quite a bit of cyclone damage but I was struck, again, by just how empty New Zealand is. Miles and miles of rolling farmland with just a few houses or small settlements dominated our journey.

However, the highlight was a visit to the Hundertwasser Toilets in Kawakawa. We had stopped opposite for a break halfway through the journey and to get a snack from one of the many fast food outlets lining the main street. I was absolutely astonished by the toilets, which looked like some sort of art installation, until I realised that these are the famous toilets made in 1999 by an artist named Friedensreich Hundertwasser. The toilets are one of the few toilet blocks in the world which are considered to be works of art – just having a tree growing through the middle of them is unusual enough in itself, let alone the wonderful conglomerations of brightly coloured ceramic tiles, glass and quirky ironwork (the gate into the women’s side incorporates a small propellor, to name just one example). What a delight. I had heard of these but we hadn’t ever stopped to join the bus-loads of tourists who come to visit them on their tour of the Far North.

Staying with Allan and Sue was, however, even more of a delight. They have moved into Sue’s mother’s old house on the farm, a small wooden house built by Sue’s father just after the Second World War on his return home. Bearing in mind visits from the family – Andy is just one of 5 children who have given Sue and Allan 13 grandchildren, to date – they decided to remove a small lean to from the side of the house and use it as a base for building a cabin (a bach as such are known in New Zealand) in the garden. The result is a delightful two-bedroomed house, double-glazed and well-insulated with a huge double garage attached which doubles as kitchen/diner/family/games room. We were so comfortable there and found ourselves totally relaxed.

We hadn’t felt hugely tired out by grandparenting duties, but there is no doubt that the first four weeks had been full on as we tried to help the family adjust to Life With Elsie Joy. We had a relaxing time sitting on the little verandah in the sun, reading, catching up on this blog post and hanging out with Sue and Allan.

Richard had fun helping Allan remove a tree stump, which involved quite a lot of discussion and to-ing and fro-ing with the tractor before after an hour or so they were, eventually, successful. Allan drove us down to Houhora Heads, where seven years previously we had put up a marquee for Cat and Andy’s wedding, meeting Owen Wagener who had generously allowed us to use his garden on the edge of the water for the event. It all seemed very familiar and brough back lots of memories.

We walked along the waterfront a couple of times, venturing for a dip in the sea: at mid-tide there was quite a rip, which made swimming seem like being in an infinity pool. The water was calm and clear: there was something quite magical about swimming in this inland harbour, bordered by the mainland on one side and the farm opposite, Camel Mountain (named by Captain Cook on the basis of its appearance) rearing up majestically in front of us.

We made the return journey by air (the bus would have taken at best 7 and a half hours, with a stop over in Kerikeri, but detours were still in place so no doubt it would have been even longer) in just over an hour from Kaitaia in a small Caravan, similar to the planes Richard had flown in Africa. #blastfromthepast 

Back a day, and then we were off to Tapapakanga Regional Park where Cat had rented a bach. A lovely holiday house perched on a hill overlooking the sea. We walked down to the shingle beach, playing in the little ‘river’, marvelling at the ancient pohotukawa trees gracing the shore. There was a ‘homestead’ – the first farmhouse built just over a hundred years ago, a proud piece of history in this young country (even the Maori have lived here only around eight hundred years or so). The wooden building was empty, but the historical plaques in every window told  the story of a family of 14 children living a life reminiscent of Richard’s childhood: a remote area, paraffin lighting and no running water.

A swamp harrier swooped and dived above the valley. A herd of curious cows came up to the bach. We took a trip further east along the coast towards the Coromandel peninsula, stopping at the Pukorokoro shorebird centre at Miranda. We passed ‘Ray’s Rest’ – a motorhome stopover right next to the beach where, a few years previously, we had stopped in our hired motorhome. It had been marvellous to be so close to the waves and the coast there has a wonderful open feel.

At the bird centre we were reminded how Manakau harbour – just a few minutes cycle ride from Cat and Andy’s home – is a haven for shorebirds. One of our favourite cycle rides has been to skirt the base of Mangere Mountain, freewheeling all the way down the hill and through the village of Mangere Bridge to the waterfront, turning left onto Kiwi Esplanade just before the footbridge across the harbour to Onehunga. Cycling along with the harbour on our right, there are thousands of South Island pied oystercatchers gathering on the mudflats and the grass bordering the shore. Throw in a few kingfishers, the odd variable oyster catcher (apparently variable, but often completely black except for the red bill and legs) and some immature black-backed gulls, and we are never disappointed with the bird life. While not extensive in variety, New Zealand certainly makes up for that lack with large numbers of each species.

From Kiwi Esplanade – where we have been cycling with the children, having afternoon tea  or a fish and chip supper – we go through Ambury Park, cycling past Ambury Farm (where we also once went with Cat many years ago – my memory is of a great deal of sheep  wandering around) and then along the shore past the bird sanctuary. On almost our first day here, we ventured down to the park from the other side of the mountain, seeing large numbers of spoonbills; white-headed herons, seemingly unafraid; the inevitable oystercatchers; and all kinds of small waders. A couple of  pairs of black swans had cygnets when we first arrived but, after a few weeks, the cygnets were grown and the swans moved on. And, of course, the pukeko ­ - a beautiful purple/blue bird with bright red beak and legs, resembling an overgrown moorhen – were everywhere, very tame. There was even a small flock of chickens which hung around at the entrance to the footpath which climbed up from the lagoon towards the exit, always rushing up to meet us. They seemed to be all kinds of varieties, with various shapes and sizes and even a few tiny chicks.

We had managed to cycle, on both sides on different occasions, on designated cycle tracks/footpaths along the edge of the harbour nearly all the way to its farthest inland point. Another ride took us from Onehunga (once the main port for Auckland, at its heyday in the nineteen twenties and thirties) up the hill to Cornwall Park.

The last days were filled with a trip to the Botanical Gardens for brunch; trips down to the waterfront with the bikes – Rosie on her balance bike and Cara on a newly acquired bicycle, at which she is remarkably skilled; swims with – and without – the girls; playing in the garden. Easter Sunday saw a gathering of friends from church – around 15 or so of us, all bringing food to share.

All too suddenly our visit came to an end. Apart from the very precious, special time with the family, we had enjoyed becoming reacquainted with New Zealand. In some ways, it felt like coming ‘home’. ‘Home’ in its similarities with the UK – the language and customs – but also, strangely, with Kenya. The pioneer style architecture of many of the towns and villages, with their ribbons of shops boasting metal-roofed verandahs lining a main street, reminded us of Nakuru. Add in the wonderful ethnic diversity and a people speaking a tribal language – Maori - added a distinct sense of familiarity. Mangere particularly, where Cat and Andy live, has a large Pacifika population with an evidently different approach to life from the pakeha, the white people. The Maori names, however, were difficult for us to get our heads around… It helped a little to slowly learn the meaning of a few words (eg kai means food) but often names of places were difficult to remember.

The weather, too, had been a bonus: brilliant summer weather, even as ‘autumn’ approached, the days grew shorter (less than 12 hours daylight) and daylight savings kicked in, resulting in lighter mornings but evenings which began before 6pm. Even so, we were out most days in sunshine and shirtsleeves.

We had been approved for residency eight or nine years ago but, in the end for all manner of reasons, decided to remain in Guernsey. Difficult. Mixed emotions doesn’t begin to describe our feelings as we prepared to leave, but the inevitability of it helped. We left for home. For Guernsey.

And so…seven and a half weeks later, we arrived home, to be met by dear Sarah who came to pick us up. Flying premium economy (Air New Zealand, British Airways) certainly helped to make the journey much more comfortable, as well as getting 14 hours under our belt to Houston so that it was only (only!!) 9 hours after that. (And on that leg the plane was, surprisingly, only half full.)

All was well at home. Pickle seemed slightly surprised to see us. In fact, she gave the hairdresser more of a welcome a couple of days later…#tryingnottofeelmiffed. She had developed a slight limp on occasions – probably incipient arthritis, which Anne-Marie, our first dogsitter, had worried about. Otherwise, apart from needing to lost a little weight – she is now a heft 13kg – all was well. Anne-Marie had been the most wonderful companion for Pickle. She even fretted about leaving Pickle alone on her departure, so the girls who came after (friends of my gap-year student colleague Millie) had to message to say they had arrived in the house…very sweet.

It took about a week to recover from jetlag and get the garden back in shape – the grass had grown tremendously while the bushes and hedges all needed attention. Satisfying to get back into a routine, although I filled every day with catch-ups with friends: always helps to ‘ground’ me. But oh.. we do miss them all….