Mad March

March began wild and blustery. On the 3rd, I cycled home through FOUR different thunderstorm showers. Lightning, a deluge of water and flooded roads. It's hilarious on a bike - you're so wet, wet through to the underwear, that it ends up not mattering. And this was despite my wonderful 'Rainlegs' which cover my thighs and normally do an amazing job of keeping the top of my legs dry. That day, they seemed to give up: the water was splashing up UNDERNEATH them.  There were still a couple of inches near the top of my legs where I was still dry by the time I got home....

Fun. The dog, of course, hates thunderstorms and presses up closely against us while the thunder peals.  Usually, that is. Sometimes she just gets annoyed and goes round the house barking loudly, before she gives up in disgust and climbs back on to the sofa to curl into a small black ball.

Then, mid-month, suddenly SPRING CAME.  For a day, initially. The next was back to grey and mist and mizzle and drizzle. And more wind than was on the forecast.  But we had a glorious Monday of full sunshine.  The daffodils have already been shouting out their glory for several weeks, but now the odd crocus has appeared in the garden, with a shy cyclamen flower struggling up from underneath a stone.

So, now, daffodils have sprung up everywhere. I planted a bagful of bulbs I had brought with me from Barnsfield - by the time I got round to it, in December, the poor bulbs had become fed up with waiting for me and had put their roots out already, becoming hopelessly entangled with each other. It took much soaking in water and gentle pulling to disengage them from each other.

But the bulbs I planted - and which have bloomed so generously - seem like nothing when I see those which are already here. Clumps of green spikes and then yellow flowers have appeared everywhere: under bushes, in 'bare' patches, on top of the grassy hedge banks and even growing out of the vertical sides of the banks themselves. The garden blazes with yellow fire in the sunshine.

There are unusual varieties as well: fragrant narcissi perfume the air from the troughs outside the front door; creamy yellow lacy trumpets hide behind the nerines; on the banks, I see bright yellow outer calyxes with deep orange tubular centres: the aptly named and unusual Will Scarlet, perhaps. Other narcissi are the ubiquitous creamy pale thick clusters:

These grew, unsolicited, at Barnsfield. Their perfume was strong: so much so that, one morning early on in our stay there, I had gone out into the garden and picked a bunch which I displayed in the kitchen. I went out again, only to find them, on my return, lying disconsolately on the paving outside the kitchen. The scent - cloying, pungent, almost redolent of cow dung, at times - was too strong for Jonny. He had come downstairs, recoiled at the smell, located the offending blooms, opened the kitchen window and... simply plucked them from the vase and threw them out. I learned not to pick them again...

So the daffodils have been a welcome brightener in a month dogged by fog. I like it, myself: I love the silence, the deadening of sound, which the fog brings. Even the traffic sounds quiet and of course the planes do not fly... and there is something eerily beautiful about the mist:

Otherwise, my bike commute home is, for the most part, through tranquil lanes. The banks are studded with primroses, celandines  and the odd violet. Daffodils erupt on the field edges; Brussels sprouts, nearing the end of their season, still stand on stalks, slightly brown now. I near the house and see the sea... This is such a welcome change from my previous commute which wound its way among houses: ribbon development on Guernsey dominates, so I would see glimpses of fields between and behind the buildings, but now I travel through countryside....

Apart from the weather, the month seems to have been packed with meals with friends, here and away; and a fund-raising quiz one evening - mostly about TV programmes, which was amusing as only 2 out of our team of 6 had a television and one couple are South African and not familiar with British TV programmes. Then there was a breakfast - where we talked, non-stop, about deep things in our lives, gaining strength from one another. And school.... reports; a school musical (Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat - it will be awesome); Saturday mornings of entrance assessments, a hockey festival, tag rugby tournament; encouraging 40Acts of kindness at school....

But the joy of the month has been the flowers....

Hyacinths in blue by the front door

Unusual daffodils from the garden in my tiny Kitengela glass jug

Unique daffodils from a friend chime in with my Mother's Day creamy white primula

And then there were the Amaryllis....

And finally....the warmth and the sun return, bringing bright mornings....

Catching up....

It seems strange that I haven't written anything here since getting back from New Zealand.

#toomanymmixedemotions.

Back home, catching up, wrestling with major decisions, starting back at school after a long holiday, wonderful Indian summer to make up for a wet August, too much work in preparation for a school inspection... well, there just didn't seem time or energy for much writing.  I kept up with my other blog, recording Bible study discoveries and other inspiration - when I had time - from across the Net.

So now it is half term. And, for the first time in the last couple of months, I have energy for more. More catching up with friends, more tidying up a neglected life, more reading, more thinking....  I've managed to do some of all those things, but not enough.

Important things have happened, though. Flights, accommodation, transport... all organised, the former with some difficulty.  (Who knew that an airline could just cancel booked and paid for tickets with, initially, no alternatives offered?  Well, I do now. We've learnt a lot.  Thankfully, all sorted.)

And wedding preparations continue: marquees are booked, dress is ordered, rings are bought, bridesmaids accessories and shoes bought, junkyards have been visited, gold is spraypainted.... all of this on the other side of the world. I content myself with the odd conversation, a glimpse on facebook or instagram, a glance at a complicated spreadsheet.  And hope that some time over the next week I can give more careful consideration to the bits and pieces of this much looked forward to event.

Meanwhile, we hope and plan to fly over to see Jonny and Adele, then other friends; a good use for a few days off. Then it will be back and into Christmas planning before I know it...

On creativity...busyness...and gratitude...

Phew - what a fortnight!  Busy busy stress stress...no, not really. Just busy. We talk about 'stress' but actually we make mountains out of molehills.  'Stress' is not knowing where your next meal is coming from, or where you will sleep tonight. My 'stress' is definitely just 'busy'.

Busy with...
days of teaching, marking, preparation...dealing with lessons, children, upcoming events of class assemblies, charity days and prayerspace events. I am constantly amazed at the number of interactions I have every day with children, parents, staff: it would certainly be less tiring were I to be holed up in an office with account books and computer, but certainly much more boring. So I'm not complaining.

Busy with...
evenings of house group meetings, meals with friends, parents meetings, staff meetings; marking of exams, writing reports (must be around 8000 words in two weeks)...

Busy with...
weekends of prayer - training and action; flujab; cleaning carpets; sorting out books to give away; shopping; ladies breakfast; puppy play dates; church.

Busy with...
nights of sleeplessness, as my brain churns; nights of sitting up with a tickly cough;

Busy with...
doctor's appointment; praying with friends.

Busy.

So after this, I came home on time from school this day, this end-of-the-week-tired-out-on-Friday day and, in the couple of hours free before I have to go out again, made...apple curd.  Sweet, spicy, delicious. The little pots sit invitingly next to the cooker. I have labelled them 'Eat Me'.

I will.

I'm thankful for the opportunity, the energy, the delight in being in this small way creative.  And for being able to blog again.

And lovely to join in with Faith Barista's Jam-With-Me-Thursdays...even if I am a couple of days late...

Leavings...

Having lived a slightly nomadic life (compared to many friends and acquaintances on this tiny island, some of whom have barely budged) over the last four decades, 'leaving' has been a large feature in my life.
Although it has often been me doing the leaving, more frequently it has been friends and family moving on.
I never manage 'leaving' very well, but I'm beginning to get the hang of it now. It's taken a while.
So, successful farewells are characterised by busyness. Packing, tying up loose ends, zooming around so there is no time for moping either before, or after.
This time, Jonny left to go back to Norwich, after a long weekend camping with us in France.

Big sky, tall surfer

Cat, Richard, Jonny

Enjoying the ambience in the evening...

Packing up the tent proved to be quite a distraction.

A luxury home from home...

I didn't much like the car journey to the airport, though...
Then, a few days later, Cat left us.
For New Zealand.
So we - she - organised a tea party to say goodbye.

Martyn didn't particularly enjoy tea from a tea CUP...he traded it in for a large mug

Dear Sarah

Dearest Renee

Tea party = chocolate cake. And smiles.

She flew off the next morning.













So we organised a barbecue lunch.  18 of us. Cooking and eating and laughing and talking - not to mention the clearing up afterwards - kept us busy and the tears at bay.

Then we tracked her flight on the internet, watching tiny planes fly across the screen en route to Dubai...and Australia...and further on...

Good things

A busy busy day of good things.

A morning of preparing good food and sweet treats.
Of brewing coffee, making tea.
Of  welcoming friends, old and new, into my home. (37 of them. Adults, that is. And children besides. Wow, what a squash!)

An afternoon of thankfulness.
For wind, and waves; gardens and greenery;  generosity and growth.
For husband of more than 26 years. Precious times.
For children, grown up, yet still hysterically funny 3 year olds in my memory. (And in video clips.)

An evening of relaxation.
Talking to a beloved daughter.
Praying for dear friends.
Laughing over blessed memories.

Busy busy day!

Indulgent catch up...

This feels somewhat self-indulgent, sitting here, writing a bit on a blog when I really 'should be' doing a thousand and a half other things ...but it IS the first 'proper' day of half term. 'Proper' in that we whizzed off on the red-eye to Manchester the day after school finished and I spent yesterday recovering. It's Monday: the beginning of the 'week off': the day when I 'should' start my catch-up tasks. Hang on: that's what I'm doing right now. Catching up on the blog. That's fine, then.

I don't know what it is about teaching, why things go banana-crazy hectic in the last couple of weeks before half term, end of term, end of year... they just do.  Parents meetings - and the time-consuming follow up; grades, reports; Harvest Festival service, organising the decoration of the church and the subsequent 'Hedge Veg' Farmers Market; birthday cards and presents... and ICT course in the middle of all this.  I don't know how I managed all the work of the PSHE course last year...

But it has been great fun, and worth it.

Worth it to meet the parents, seeing their features reflected in those of the children I know so well; rejoicing with them at successes, considering how to best help them achieve all of which they are capable - to use a report-type phrase.

Worth it to see the joy in the children as they joined in with singing 'In the beginning, God made...', performing the actions as enthusiastically as at a disco; the pride on the face of the young soloist who struggles with reading and writing, yet filled the church with his sweet voice; the enthusiasm as the Year 6 children  'sold' the fruits and vegetables with more energy than that of an East End trader, shouting out their invented slogans: 'A melon for the price of a lemon' or 'Cheaper than Checkers' (the largest supermarket we have here).

Worth it to pray for the dear friends and relatives as I prepare cards and presents, thanking God for them: timely reminders to stop in the middle of busyness and be thankful.

This is not self-indulgent. This is worth it: appreciating, as I review the last two weeks of my life, what is of value.

Busy

Sometimes life is crazy busy.  This has been one of those weeks.

Now, don't get me wrong. I don't have a living-life-at-one-hundred-miles-an-hour kind of life.  Generally, I think I'm quite well balanced. I'm busy, but there is me-time, my-husband-and-me-time, me-and-friends time and all kinds of other time built in.

But this week - well.  School has been busy, though not so much more than normal. In spite of reports, sports days and preparation for going away on activities next week.  Oh, and planting up a new part of the garden at school with the help of Floral Guernsey.  I've been out in the garden every single lunchtime, as eager children ask to weed, or water, or harvest... wonderful.

So not too much extra - but Jonny and Cat have come home and Richard has worked late shifts.  So I've seen him briefly in the morning, then not until after 7 or 8.
By which time Cat and Jonny have gone out.  Jonny has been in during the day, but evenings have been full.
So we haven't had any time together as a family this week unless we have all been asleep!

I think that was between midnight and five am.

Sometimes life is crazy busy.

Here we go again...

Last week of term.  LAST WEEK OF TERM!!!!

No, I'm not that much out of control.  Things are pretty calm in my classroom, actually. Projects have been finished without any hectic nagging, the room is tidy - I'm even redoing a display. Which reminds me... it's staring me in the face, shouting 'take me down, take me down' - I'm only half way through stripping a board of children's work before I put the new stuff up, and somehow I'd forgotten about it.

But that's symptomatic of everything else. I get up in such a rush in the morning that I only have time for the bare essentials - and that doesn't include breakfast (that comes later, when I have a break at school).  And what's bothering me is what the 'bare essentials' are.

Washing. Brushing teeth and hair. Moisturiser. Clothes. Earrings and necklace. Cycling to school - essential exercise.

Where is my time with God?  If I'm lucky, I read a little from the Bible or from a book out of my pile of 'good reading'.  As a church we're studying Rick Warren's 40 Days of Community, so I try to keep up with that as well.  But when do I do that?  'If I'm lucky', between necklace and cycling.

Priorities are wrong. Luck doesn't come into it. I just need to drag myself out of bed just a few moments earlier.  That's all.

Christms Eve

It's Christmas Eve. No doubt, bloggers - and others - all over the world will be reflecting on Christmas - the true meaning, the busyness, the festivities, the hype...

So here's my little morsel to add to the feast.

So it's Christmas Eve. I had to say it again to convince myself, because in many ways it doesn't feel like it. It's just a date. 24th December. Do I really feel the excitement, the anticipation of Christ coming into my life? Our lives?
Not yet. I will do, in the quiet of the midnight service, but not yet.

I still have a lot of little things to do. I am worryingly completely unstressed about them. Which means they may not get done. So I'll need to prioritise tasks and time, because if stuff doesn't get done... well, that's not what's important.

Yet some tasks are. I've sent many Christmas cards, but reconnecting with friends by email, telling them we remember and love them, IS important. That's what I should be doing by now. That's what I WILL be doing in a few minutes.

Preparing dishes for tomorrow's meal, which we will be sharing with friends, IS important. My friend Jane is doing most of the work and I am making a relatively small contribution. So, doing it is the least I can do. Just remembered: I'll need to make a trip to the shops, too. Most of my shopping I did yesterday, meeting half a dozen different friends in one store so it wasn't a chore at all, more like an ambulatory coffee morning without the coffee.

Writing a card for a recently bereaved friend. Dark times. ESSENTIAL.

Taking Christmas goodies to another dear friend. ESSENTIAL.

Spending time with my husband on his day off. IMPORTANT. I should say ESSENTIAL, but he has a whole 3 days so we will have more time than just today. Yet TODAY is important.

Decorating the Christmas cake. A family ritual involving too much icing and not enough marzipan. There is NEVER enough marzipan.

Adding more decorations to the house? Well, I've been - and still am - sick, so that doesn't need to be done. Tree and lights are up, cookies are baked, so if I do any more decorating or baking it will be a bonus, because I'll be doing it with my lovely daughter. Us time.

What else, if I have time? Well, making a few phone calls; hanging out with my two kids when they are home from work; meeting friends before we all go off to church.

What a lovely day - and now, I feel excited in the anticipation of Jesus' birthday. And his presence in my heart. How do I put a smiley face on here?

Of busyness, tiredness and refreshment.

Catharine has been overbusy lately.
She’s Vice-President of the university Christian Union this year, captain of the women’s ultimate Frisbee team and leads a small group at church.
She delegates, but has still found herself over-burdened and is now Acting – or activing, as she puts it – President.
There doesn’t seem to be much time available for her dissertation at the moment.
Hmmm.
Wonder where she gets this busyness from?
I’m busy too. Some days, I just seem to run from one thing to another.
Some evenings, I’m so tired I start to fall asleep in my chair, especially if I’m in a meeting.
Embarrassing.
If I don’t fall asleep, I become so restless that I can’t sit still – have a coiled spring inside me, ready to break loose.
A jump up and walk around usually cures that, but that’s not always possible.
So, when I committed to two church evenings at the weekend, with Open Day at school inbetween, I really wondered how I was ever going to wind down enough for some sort of rest.
But it was better than that.
True, the first evening was full of listening, as I heard stories and received training for Healing on the Streets.
The second evening was awesome.
Simple prayers. Simple healing.
My leg – slightly shorter than its mate – lengthened in response to prayer.
I feel stronger, walk more easily.
Yet even more than that, my soul was renewed and my spirit lightened.
Thank you, Jesus.
And thank you for a daughter and son who, in their different ways, love to serve others.

A noisy life

So quiet on this blog for many weeks.
A month.
Quiet not because life has been quiet, nothing happening.
Quiet because life has been too noisy.

Noisy with ‘things to do’.
Noisy with ‘people to see’.
Noisy.

What is it about teaching that creates such panic as the end of the school year approaches? Why do we try to fit so much in?

Yes, the weather has something to do with it. This term we have had to cope with a seemingly endless cricket season. The hours the boys spend away from school almost, but not quite (I’m not that desperate) make me long for the football season. At least the matches are relatively short.

Just my class alone has had to fit in several trips – to our landfill and recycling sites (2 visits for them, 1 from me); to a concert; a fitness session; and a week away in England on a residential activity week.

Round the school, it has been the same, and more.

In school, we’ve had special assemblies, presentations, practices and rehearsals.

Out of school I’ve been on several day or half day courses. Fun, but a lot of work to prepare for my absence – far from ‘having a morning/day off’, it’s often easier just to stay in school and teach as normal.

All this is only the half of it. The time has disappeared in a blur. Life has been too noisy.

But… it’s holiday time now. If nothing else, it is a time to catch up on sleep and take a step back. Now life is not so noisy, I can see more clearly.

Hmmm – yes, I do like what I see!

PS - some reflections on our activity week away in Shropshire. Too busy to truly appreciate the scenery of this beautiful county on the Welsh Border...

Year 5 Activities Week: The Mathematics.

37 excited children + 4 excited teachers + 1,000,000 kg of luggage =
recipe for disaster - not really, I mean fun.
1 plane ride to Manchester. Duration: 1hour 15 minutes.
1 coach ride to RAF Cosford. Duration: Too long, we're all impatient.
2 fascinating hours spent looking at aeroplanes of all shapes and sizes.
1 activity centre arrived at, along with over 200 other children to play with on site.
37 boys in 4 small dormitory rooms.
15 different activities to do over the course of the week.
74 muddy trainers, 37 towels and hundreds of other assorted garments stuffed into the drying room after kayaking and canoeing.
360 arrows shot at 3 targets. 67 arrows missed completely. 21 arrows hit the bullseye.
1 climbing wall climbed up.
1 abseiling wall abseiled down.
4 tiring games of water polo played.
8 survival shelters built out of logs, branches, tarpaulins, ropes and leaves. 8 fires built and lit.
1 underground maze, 10 lost boys. 0 panic.
15 obstacles to be climbed up, over, down, round and through.
Countless rope ladders and bridges climbed up and along.
Hundreds of sweets from the Victorian sweet shop eaten in the Victorian village.
Approximately 20 pieces of unclaimed clothing left at the end of the week. (This is an amazingly low number!)
1 minor injury - a badly burst blister bravely born.
Countless examples of thoughtful and caring behaviour.
Countless hours of fun and games.
37 ecstatic children, 4 exhausted teachers, 999,999 kg of luggage = Year 5 2008 safely returned home.

Busy

My days seem so full that, when I look back, a day seems as long as a week. I can hardly believe that so much can happen. I feel both like the child who says, when asked what she did at school, answers 'Nothing,' and yet the lines of the poem are also true: A day to childhood seems a year, a year like passing ages.

Today was an example.

Today, I...
ordered 40 clipboards.
edited an article for our school magazine.
scanned some children's work.
received an invitation to an awards ceremony.
issued invitations to the same ceremony to a group of children from gardening club.
marked English, History, Geography and maths.
attended a staff meeting.
worked on a cross-curricular day which one of the teaching assistants and I are organising in a couple of weeks.
tried to borrow a tent for the same day.
emailed our PSHE advisor about changes to the curriculum.
set a date for a publicity event for our new school garden.
emailed the headmaster of our link school in a remote area of Tanzania.
emailed a parent about an absent child.
met with another parent, concerned about her son missing some lessons.
discussed a discipline issue with a boy.
laughed over a small boy's antics: in his haste to get to lunch on time, he catapulted out of the changing rooms, tie loosely around his neck but completely separate from his shirt collar, shirt untucked, hair awry after a hurried change, just avoiding cannoning into a wall.


and TAUGHT SOME LESSONS!

and checked my diary through very carefully - so much happening in the next few weeks.

Not like today, then.

Appointments and random opportunities

When did we get so busy?

When I was younger,
I did not need appointments to see my friends.
I went to them.
They came to me.
We were drawn together like loose magnets.

When I lived in a different place:
at college
in Sweden
in Africa
I did not need appointments to see my friends.
Sometimes I would make them anyway.
To drive one hundred miles, to find your friend is not in,
is a disappointment too great to bear easily.
But still
I went to them.
They came to me.
We were drawn together like loose magnets.

Now I am older.
Now I live in this English culture.
I need appointments to see my friends.
My life is busy, structured.
I need to diarise my opportunities, write them on a calendar.
When my time is free, it is 'catch-up': at home, at work.

I find it interesting that the only place I do not make appointments to see my friends is at work.
I drop in to a colleague's classroom unannounced.
We chat about work. Sometimes we chat about personal matters.
We do not make appointments.

Interesting.

Can I change things? Do I want to?

Busy busy

I look back at my week, in a rare pause-for-breath moment. I can't quite believe how hectic it has been. It's Saturday now, and my to-do list is still long. Some with school, some with home. No real pause-for-breath time yet.

This week I have had over 20 parent interviews. That's not much - I'm not a secondary teacher so don't see a lot of students, just my little flock to nurture through this year.

I have written around 10,000 - yes, ten thousand, that WAS the right number of noughts - words. No, not a dissertation - just end of term reports on around a dozen different subjects for each child.

I have planned and organised a cross-curricular day, incorporating History, English, Geography, Maths, Science, PSHE, PE, Drama and Art.

I have been to a church committee meeting, having great fun thinking about our vision and values - who we are.

I have been to a wonderful celebration where Christians from all over our tiny island, from many different churches, gathered together to worship and pray.

I wouldn't have missed any of that for the world.

I love meeting parents, allaying their anxieties about their children, celebrating progress made, gaining an insight into the kids I teach.
I love writing reports: reflecting on the progress the children have made and where I want to take them to next.
I love 'different' days where we dress up and follow a theme throughout the day. It makes learning so much more relevant.
I love being part of an active church which seeks to honour God in everything it does.
I love worshipping God with music, poetry and prayer. I love seeing Him at work in my life and the lives of those I love.

Would I miss any of these to be a little less busy?

No.

(Though the ten thousand words were too many to write... I'd like to do fewer of those next time).