Tuesday 30 December 2008

Operation 24XMASEVE

It’s fun having a daughter at home – even if she IS working her socks off to earn money to pay her way through uni. Here are the emails we exchanged on Christmas Eve…

From: Pollard Catharine
Sent: 24 December 2008 11:10
To: R & A Pollard
Subject: Today

Hi Mum,

If you want to come pick me up at 12.30 then that would be fab but if not then i can quite easily get the bus back!

Reply asap por favour!
Xxx

From: R & A Pollard
Sent: 24 December 2008 11:29
To: Pollard Catharine
Subject: Re: Today

Hi daughter

Yes can pick you up at 12.30. No problemo!

Can you walk down to M and S or North Beach car park and give me an exact ETA?

love

Mama


From: Pollard Catharine
Sent: 24 December 2008 11:47
To: R & A Pollard
Subject: Re: Today

Righto!

This is flight commander Perkins speaking to you. Should you choose to accept it, this is your mission:

In the dark, dangerous and turbulent waters of December 24th, a lone survivor of the Christmasomme battle is awaiting your arrival. You will leave HQ at 12.19hrs exactly, navigating the tricky and potentially murderous maze of Guernsaise roads.

Approaching the RV with considerable caution you will first perform a recce to establish the enemy presence. Once confirmed by contacting our helicopters with infrared cameras you will traverse the rocky terrain taking care to avoid the identified danger areas. Note: Dangerous head winds in the form of heavy Christmas shopping traffic might impede safe arrival. Recommend use of laser gun should you encounter any untoward pedestrians, cyclists, motorists, etc but only as a last resort for fear of revealing your precarious position.

Once at the RV, secure the target (lone survivor etc) and screech away. Abandon caution when leaving the premises, and drive away, all guns blazing, blowing a few things up just to make that last shot of billowing clouds of flame and dark black swirls of soot extra special.

RV: North Beach
ETA: 12.33

This message will self destruct in three seconds....


From: R & A Pollard
Sent: 24 December 2008 12:01
To: Pollard Catharine
Subject: Re: Today

I haven't read your instructions yet, but you need to GET A LIFE!!!! or work harder!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

From: Pollard Catharine
Sent: 24 December 2008 12:02
To: R & A Pollard
Subject: Re: Today

Hah haa! Actually, I've just thought RE the ETA - maybe I should email you when I’m done here and then you leave when you get my email as I’m not sure I’ll be finished at 12.30 so don’t want you to wait. Will email in a few minutes.


From: Pollard Catharine
Sent: 24 December 2008 12.06
To: R & A Pollard
Subject: WE HAVE LIFT OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RV and ETA as before...Operation 24XMASEVE has begun....may the best man win.

She did. She arrived first.


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