Ten things children don't expect teachers to say:
1. It's okay, you didn't need to do your homework.
2. Here, have this bar of chocolate, I don't need it.
3. Don't fart in class.
4. Please don't throw paper or rubbers while I'm looking: wait until my back is turned.
5. You can go home early today, I'm too tired to teach.
6. Mark your work? Who do you think I am - your teacher?
7. No lessons today -we're just going to play games.
8. I was off school yesterday because I didn't feel like coming in.
9. It's no good, your behaviour has forced me to use the S word: will you please SHUT UP!
10.I love children - on toast, with plenty of tomato ketchup. Mmmm.